The E-Sylum:  Volume 8, Number 51, December 4, 2005, Article 29

MONEY LAUNDERING FOR DUMMIES

The Vanguard of Nigeria published an amusing story
about a young man who didn't quite understand the
concept of laundering money.  It reads like an
Abbott and Costello script.  Here's an excerpt:

"The young man obviously didn’t know what he was
talking about. He wanted to know if he could get
stinking rich by going to London to launder money.
Worse than that, he asked me to tell him how to go about it.

“You have come to the wrong person,” I told him.
“The only time I was involved in money laundering
was when I forgot to empty the pockets of my agbada
before sending it to the washerwoman. The two
hundred naira banknote I had left in one of the
pockets came back washed and starched. I don’t
think that’s the kind of money laundering you
are talking about.”

“Did the washing and starching of the two hundred
naira note make you rich?” the young man asked,
still not getting the point.

“No, it didn’t,” I replied, “but it did make
the banknote look much cleaner.”

“So why do people bother to launder their money?”

“That’s what I have just been telling you,” I
said. “When people make plenty of money from dirty
deals, and want to make the money less filthy,
they launder it. Money laundering is simply a
process of making illegally obtained money appear
legally obtained by passing it through a foreign bank.”

"You mean,” the young man said, struggling to
understand, “they take their dirty money to a
foreign bank, the bank washes it and then returns
it to them clean and without blemish?"

"Something like that."

Full Story

  Wayne Homren, Editor

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