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V13 2010 INDEX       E-SYLUM ARCHIVE

The E-Sylum: Volume 13, Number 39, September 26, 2010, Article 28

WEEKLY WORLD NEWS BREAKS STORY: OBAMA ON NEW DOLLAR BILL

The supermarket tabloid Weekly World News ("The Worlds Only Reliable News", according to its masthead)) grabbed onto the story of the Dollar ReDe$isgn Project for an article this week. -Editor

Obama Dollar The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency. Barack Obama will be on the new dollar bill.

The Obama Administration feels that the American dollar is in bad need of a makeover. They have partnered with the Dollar ReDe$ign Project to pick a new design for U.S. currency. Currently, the design that the administration likes best was done by Dowling Duncan (a British duo), which features a unique vertical design. It also features President Obama on the one dollar bill.

“We love the Dowling Duncan look. They’ve come up with a creative design and put President Obama where he belongs… on number 1,” said David Axelrod, Senior Adviser to President Obama.

“Don’t waste your time submitting a design, it’s a done deal,” said Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff. The President wants “change” in the currency and we’ve unanimously picked Dowling Duncan’s work. Fed Chairman, Benjamin Bernanke, has signed off on our choice for the redesign. We intend to have the money in circulation by June, 2011.”

Emanuel went on to say that there are plans to redo U.S. coins as well. “We don’t need a complete redesign of our coins, but we do want to put President Obama on the penny and move President Lincoln to the nickel. Thomas Jefferson, who was on the nickel, will be… discontinued.” Republican Congressman Paul Ryan suggested President Obama be put on both the “nickel and dime” instead of the penny.

Another American icon might also be replaced. “Uncle Sam is outdated,” said Axelrod. “We need to update this icon as well. It will now be Uncle Barack.”

Republicans are apoplectic about the changes the Administration is proposing. “They won’t get this passed when we get control of the house,” said Minority Leader John Boehner. “Typical Republicans, they want to block everything, even a little meaningless design issue,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “It doesn’t matter what they think, we’re going to pass this and every American will be carrying Obama dollars in their wallets and purses come June.”

FYI: The Obama dollar will reportedly be worth $0.47.

To read the complete article, see: OBAMA ON NEW DOLLAR BILL (weeklyworldnews.com/politics/22345/obama-on-new-dollar-bill/)

Weekly World News is funny, but for the best satire, I turn to The Onion. The paper is distributed in street boxes in the Washington, D.C. area, and I nearly peed my pants at lunchtime one day reading their piece on the Supreme Court's obscenity ruling. Definitely NOT for children, but a classic. I won't link to it, but you might want to Google "Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling". Just sayin'. -Editor

"It is the opinion of this court that the right to speak without censorship or fear of intimidation is fundamental to a healthy democracy," Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote for the majority. "Furthermore, the court finds that the right to say whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, is not only a founding tenet, but remains essential to the continued success of this nation."

Wayne Homren, Editor

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To submit items for publication in The E-Sylum, write to the Editor at this address: whomren@gmail.com

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