The E-Sylum:  Volume 6, Number 39, September 28, 2003, Article 24

FUTURE NEWS RELEASE:  QUARTER RECALLED

   "The United States Treasury has announced they are
   recalling the newest state quarters.

   "We are recalling all of the new state quarters that
   were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Russell
   Shackelford said in a press conference Friday. "This
   comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency
   that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths,
   vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated
   devices." "We believe the problem lies in a design flaw,"
   said Shackelford.

   The winning design for the quarter was submitted by State
   University student Billy-Bob "Snuffy" Smith. Apparently,
   the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together
   keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.

   [The above "future news release" was submitted by
    Bob Fritsch and sanitized for political correctness by
    your Editor.  Feel free to insert the name of your
    favorite rival state.]

  Wayne Homren, Editor

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